After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
