Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
