I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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