Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
