it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
