I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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