Sponge bath it is.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
