Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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