we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
