Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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