Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
