This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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