You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
