i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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