stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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