"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
