The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
