Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
