After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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