Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
