then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
