Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
