Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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