i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
only if we run a train.
done.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
