apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
