i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
