I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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