Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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