clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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