I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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