laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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