yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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