your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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