i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
