Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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