Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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