you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
