Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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