Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
