Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
