So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
