hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
