I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
