If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
