Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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