god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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