just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
