News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
