Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
