i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
