if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
