Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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