what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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