I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
