READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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