well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
