Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We had sex on a dog bed..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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